Whoever says change is easy is selling something.
Not to be a hypocrite (since I’m definitely selling things), but I recoil at the oversimplification of what it takes to create change. The wisdo-tainment industry (ahem, personal-development space) is rampant with the bait of convenience. The 5-simple-steps-to-your-perfect-life approach can make the most committed among us feel like losers.
But we’re not losers. We’re human. And humans (among many things) are a collection of habits, patterns and processing systems that repeat.
So why are changing these patterns so hard?
Change requires death. Death of identity. Death of habits. Death of dynamics. Death of the crutches, strategies and addictions we employ to stay safe and soothed and somewhat sane.
Change threatens the status quo. There’s a lot to love, reply upon and feel safe within the status quo. Not only can change feel threatening when things are hard, it’s threatening when everything you’ve wanted and been working and praying for comes knocking.
If you’re trying to make some changes, big or small, and are grinding at a pace that’s chafing against your self-esteem, for the love of your humanity, please accept this prayer of compassion.
You’re in the midst of dying to yourself so that new you can be born, grow and thrive. Have you ever actually died and given birth at the same time? Me neither. Seems like a pretty big deal. So please, cut yourself some slack.
To compassionate change and the fierce rejection of unrealistic and oppressive standards of perfection and success!