“So…” I might say all casually as we’re having a light chat about the weather…”What part of yourself do you feel is so wholly unacceptable that you’re always trying to deny, push, hide, change or ignore its existence?”

Is it a lingering piece of your past, or the rough aspect of your personality? Maybe your familial affiliation or your fervent interest in something you think is dorky/racy/dangerous/boring/dumb?

Maybe you’re inclined towards that fifth shot of Yagger, dancing on tables and nursing a Sunday morning shameover. Maybe your anxiety takes over in social situations and you say things that you stay awake late in the night picking over with a critical mind. Maybe you’re always running late, losing your keys or your creative momentum.

Maybe you quit things you start or don’t start things at all.

Maybe you’ve lied to your parents, stolen from your boss or cheated on your spouse. Or stolen from your parents, cheated on your boss and lied to your spouse. Maybe you kissed your sister’s boyfriend or have never broken any rule or done anything badass and as a result feel caged in and cowardly.

Maybe you repeatedly let people down.

Or you’re ‘one of those’ who’s so busy meeting everyone’s expectations that your own dreams are dimming and fading away.

Each of us has something. Some part of who we are that feels inadequate, shameful, partial or unacceptable. So we usually don’t want to bring that part to the party.

I’ve got a couple, they’re like the opposite twins…

One’s loud and excitable and will totally try to pressure you into taking off all your clothes with her and jumping into that lake over there.

The other is moody and self-conscious and is desperate for you to like her.

I want neither of them to come to the party. But dammit, if I don’t invite them, they’ll find a way in!

Each part of us needs its expression. Period. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to do that. Hopped up naked chick probably shouldn’t come out to play at a corporate lunch, but if she’s denied her time in the sun with close and trustworthy girlfriends, she might do just that.

Maybe there’s a part of you who’s dark and dramatic, give her some stage time or she’ll sabotage your life. The part of you who’s terrified and scared to show it, open up or you’ll start to freeze. We often corner off certain parts of ourselves for fear that others will think we’re unacceptable. But since we’ve all got something going on, I say we start throwing parties where we’re ALL invited, so that we can inch towards healthier expressions and greater acceptance of ourselves and each other.