Let’s be clear, this title is ironic.

When it comes to saying no, I’m no artist. I’m barely a practitioner.

My impulse towards yes is so strong and habitual that no gets caught by and wrapped in a whole swirl of emotion. I want to please you, honour you, support you, show appreciation for you, help you, receive from you, offer all I’ve got to you and opening up and saying yes feels like the way to do that.

No gets caught in my throat. No presses on my heart. No tightens me up and feels unnatural.

No feels like I’m rejecting you, disappointing you, letting you down. No feels like I’m dismissing you, dominating you or disconnecting from you.

No misses out.

No’s painful.

AND NECESSARY. AND LIBERATING. AND HONOURS ALL OF US.

No makes space for yes. No makes space for the purest, sweetest, deepest expression of who we are and what we want to say yes to.

No shows respect. To you. To me. To priority.

Discernment and Self-Respect are No’s escorts, No’s bodyguards.

No is a practice. No to others, no to self, no to all the crazy awesome exciting things that would just be so great to say yes to. No to what I’ve been doing for way too long that’s no longer nourishing. No to requests that strain, drain or fire up resentment. No to the ways I’m permissive with myself that thwart what I’m really up to. No to distractions, compulsions and the fast food of life. No to mind tricks and self-degradation. No to punishing myself or others. No to wasting time. No to being a rigid stickler. No to being a no to life.

When I say no, I feel all sorts of twisting and anxiety. Until those words are out of my mouth. Then I feel spacious and alive. Then I really know where I am- and what I’ve said yes to has room to breathe and grow.