Self-Care for Martyrs

Calling all martyrs, people-pleasers and action addicts…

Life’s busy right? Hectic…overwhelming?

Does your energy, your effort and your time go into meeting demands and caring for others?

Maybe you’re a parent or in the business of being of service. Maybe you’ve got heaps of friends or a large family. Hell, let’s be honest, even if none of those are true, you’re likely stretched…lots to get done or be responsible for and not a ton of time to rest, nourish and care deeply for your wellbeing. We’re just not in a culture that rewards that.

A few months ago, I took a call in the change room at yoga. I told the person I was about to go into an appointment and that I’d call them back. As soon as I hung up, I was like...’what was that?’

I’ll tell you exactly what that was. That was some running belief that taking time out for my physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing is somehow indulgent, or lazy or shouldn’t be as much of a priority as meeting the demands of others, getting work done and the like.

This is probably one of the most common themes I see with clients…Self-Care, Practice, nourishing ritual…it all comes last.

But here’s the thing, if you’re a bit of a martyr and can’t put yourself before others, then take care of yourself for others.

If I allow my self-care to slip, if I don’t exercise, meditate and engage with practice that grounds me, expands me and clarifies me, my capacity to be with and serve others begins to diminish very very quickly.

I have heard countless new moms aching to go to a yoga class, or even go have a coffee by themselves, but they don’t because they feel guilty…

You will be a better mother if you do these things.

People who have made a ton of commitments and don’t want to break commitments or let people down often push and push and push past discomfort and exhaustion.

The quality of your work will be better if you pull back, rest and take care.

When we’re all caught up, caffeinated, pushing through and gettin’ ‘er done, our physical, emotional, energetic and spiritual selves suffer. And this suffering cannot be kept to ourselves, it leaks out and impacts those around us. Perhaps we’re flustered, angry or closed down. Maybe we lack presence, capacity or the ability to truly meet others in any kind of deep and meaningful way.

So if you’re not taking the time to nourish yourself because of some inner dialogue that invalidates its importance or makes something else more urgent, if you’re not engaging with Self-Care because you just can’t give that to yourself…then please, for goodness sake, do it for the rest of us.

I’m an Integral Master Coach™, Master Certified Coach, writer, mother & people lover. My gifts are centered around helping others to meet their calling and unleash their genius, on behalf of our shared world. Get to know me...

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