Between now and then, between the target you’ve set and the moment you’ve hit it, how are you going to be? While the vision is clear and strong but light years and life times away from your current circumstances, how are you going to be?
When your hope and longing and desire reach so far and wide you can’t find their edges, what do you draw on to fully show up in the In-Between?
Are you driven? Are you open? Are you head-down-buckled-up-pushing-through? Are you eyes-wide-mind-adrift-feeling-into? Is your vision locked on the rear-view mirror of regret or darting into fantasy of what it will be like when it’s no longer like this? Are you present? Are you humble? Are you giving it your all? Are you giving it too much? Not enough? How do you know?
There’s this terrible little habit that most of us have. We don’t allow ourselves to arrive anywhere. We don’t land. We don’t settle in and exhale and say this is it.
I’ll be working towards something and when it’s complete my exhale whispers good riddance and I’m on to the next. When the biggest of all visions are made manifest we don’t stop reaching for the next moment to meet us, fill us, complete us. There’s always somewhere to be, something to do, somewhere to get. We’re in the In-Between. We’re already and always in the In-Between.
So who do you want to be in the In-Between? Who do you imagine you’d be if you’d arrived?
I’d be chill. I’d be spacious. I’d be so heart open my love would spill all over you and wake you up, heal you, delight you and terrify you. I’d be sensitive enough to hear all of humanity breathing. I’d be a sword wielding ninja with my time, wasting none-each moment sliced through with divine precision- just the right amount of effort and the right amount of ease. I’d be medicine and laughter and every season pulsing through the veins of time. I’d be complete; each mountain to climb and river to cross simply a playground for I’d already arrived where I needed to be.
No grasping. Nothing missing.
So how about right now? Am I in the In-Between? I am a writer. I write and publish my own work time and time again. Nothing special about this one, nothing Earth shattering and revolutionary, this piece is not the piece that brings me anywhere new. Or is it? Can’t we declare that each move is the final move? That each move has us arrive? That each moment is the final moment? That with each breath we arrive? That’s one way to be in the In-Between. And so as I press publish I shall sit back, take a sip of this hot lemon water and let this moment be savoured…nowhere to go…nowhere to get… Join me here…if just for a moment before rushing back to the In-Between.
This post gives me great comfort and inspiration tonight. This gives me much to ponder about what I draw on to fully show up. Solid blog post.