The trouble with desire and doubt is that they’re both painful and one is a lot safer to follow.
You want it. You know you want it. You pretend sometimes that you don’t want it or that not having it is okay for now because you have a plan or a vision or some stuff you need to do before you really go for it. But you want it. You. Waaaannt. IT.
But that gap between what we truly ache for, what truly wants to be pursued, expressed or experienced and where we may find ourselves right now, can be a painful gap indeed.
Sitting in desire hurts. The more you let desire in and let desire win, the more something needs to be done about it. This is where doubt strolls onto the scene…
The thing with doubt….it’s like a to the brim shot of tequila at four am. Painful, numbing, will likely make you sick…but no matter what, if you let it in, it always wins…it takes over.
Doubt (and tequila as it turns out) will guide you away from the pain of desire, will give you something else to focus on other than that which you know you ought to be focusing on.
You aren’t capable. It’s not the right time. What if this happens. What if that occurs. What if this idea sucks and your art is bunk and people laugh or loathe or lynch you.
All that doubt is just a noisy distraction. Distracting you from the pain of your desire.
But that’s where we really need to be…in the pain of our desire. How about really sitting in it, feeling it, letting it build, letting it burn, letting it grow so bold and fierce that the only thing we can possible do is give it everything we’ve fucking got.
I want to live in that world. All of us, quenching our desire by audaciously living out our purpose…continually lining it up and knocking it down.