Dear Chela: How do I survive the holidays with my ex?

When relationships end, we hope that those activating dynamics are over. When, in fact, it can intensify. How do we prepare and create mental and emotional space? An important first step is taking the time to know what’s possible and what might trigger us. This Dear Chela episode offers up some grounding strategies. By the way – this can be useful with anyone that we emotionally bump up against.

How about you? What have you done when dealing with an ex? What about other relationships that trigger us? What are the practices you have in place? Join me in the comments.

Have your own burning question? Ask me here


PS – Want lots of questions answered?

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I’m an Integral Master Coach™, Master Certified Coach, writer, mother & people lover. My gifts are centered around helping others to meet their calling and unleash their genius, on behalf of our shared world. Get to know me...


  1. Thank you Chela for this wise advice! I could have used it 19 years ago when my ex and i split up. But it’s still relevant with issues with my sister this holiday season. I’ll breathe when i know i will be getting hooked ………’s a given my sister will hook me……..and rather than react I’ll breathe and leave some space! Hopefully this will diffuse the situation!

    Thanks again and happy Christmas Chela!
    Love, Violette

  2. Joan says:

    Thank you Chela for covering this issue and I find your advice to be most useful . I will BREATHE and not get “hooked ” as you wisely put it . Happy Christmas to you .
    Joan .

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