Dear Chela: Should I stay or should I go?

Romantic relationships are living, breathing, complex creatures. The dynamics of relationship need to include some individual unpacking as well as partner work. This Dear Chela is coming from a very intimate and vulnerable place. I offer my advice on betrayal and trust, and I hope that what I have to say touches anyone at any stage of a relationship.


As promised, I have linked to some book recommendations below that I found incredibly helpful in holding relationship. Please feel free to contribute books or resources that you think are helpful in the comments below.

Keeping the Love You Find by Ph.D. Harville Hendrix

Getting the Love You Want by Ph.D. Harville Hendrix

When the Past is Present by David Richo

Attached by Amir Levine


Have your own burning question? Ask me here


Dear Chela Banner

I’m an Integral Master Coach™, Master Certified Coach, writer, mother & people lover. My gifts are centered around helping others to meet their calling and unleash their genius, on behalf of our shared world. Get to know me...


  1. Courtney says:

    To your anonymous writer—I hope this note finds your heart healing and that you know there are people out there praying and sending you lots of love. I hope 2015 brings you joy from your sorrow, light from darkness, and healing from your pain. Much love.

    Chela! Thank you so much for your book recommendations. I just picked up Keeping the Love you Find and Attached. I recently accepted a new job and am moving to a new city. Something I’ve never done! With my new adventure close at hand, January 7th!, I’m ready to leave my old yo-yo, are we or aren’t we relationships behind. I’m excited to keep working on my journey and I’m so thankful to have found both you and Danielle La Porte. Instrumental to my self love and exploration. I hope 2015 brings you abundant blessings!

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