When someone contacts me to inquire about coaching, they’re typically in one of two places and more often than not, are experiencing both at the same time.

They want something they don’t have. A result or an experience. Something better than here, a feeling of higher, wider, fuller, better.

They’re in pain. They want out of that pain. They want to rid themselves of an experience or habit. Slough off and gain a feeling of freedom, liberation, completion, acceptance.

In a recent session with a client, we were speaking about an aspect of her development that’s in support of her having deeper and more nourishing relationships. “Can you put that in a pill?” She joked.

“No, but I can put it in a practice.”

We long for so much as human beings. But actually doing the difficult work of cultivating what we long for, day in day out, in disciplined practice is something that slips through most of our days without priority or attention.

And while this particular client was teasing, and is engaged with deep and consistent practice, I think her comment represents a pretty big slice of our collective thinking and manner in which we approach life and growth.

What’s the quickest, lowest effort solution to my plight?

This question is unconscious and insidious and lures us into short cuts, false starts, failures and dissatisfaction. It leads to patches on holes, emphasis on symptoms and the need to put out fires that never should have been lit in the first place.

When it comes to our development, when it comes to real change, the long, slow, boring and often painful route is quite reliably, the most direct.