I used to have a really impressive dating super-power. I could sniff out the most unavailable dude in the room and fall totally gaga for him in seconds.
It sucked.
I got coached, stopped dating, started dating, sought out wise shrinks and read a shit ton of books, all trying to heal and grow past the traps and habits I found myself in over and over again.
So when Bekah asked how she could know the difference between which inner voices and emotions are trustworthy and which aren’t, since she wants partnership but keeps falling for going-nowhere-in-partnership-unavailable-guys, I was like ‘giirrl, I’m in your corner.’
Not only do we tackle breaking bad love habits, I dish on my own personal romantic compulsions and my new actually-totally-available dude.
If you want your own practice, write me here.
Practice: Pay attention to what’s happening in your unfolding relationship or dating life. Look for what feels familiar. These are going to be moments when you feel like you’ve been here before or you’re even saying to yourself ‘no, not this again.’
Next, notice what you really feel like doing or not doing. This is probably what you’ve habitually done in the past too. You’re looking for the thing that almost feels impossible not to do. It’ll be seductive, or compulsive, like there’s no other option.
Pause. Consider what small move, or big move you could take that would intentionally interrupt the cycle or pattern. It’s something that’ll move you away from the direction you usually go and closer to honouring what you really want (*note that it might temporarily feel like you’re moving further from what you want as you get aligned.)
And check out this book, it’s solid.
May you find deep fulfillment in loving partnership